By Phebby Muwowo.
It is commonly accepted in Zambian culture that families take care of their own older relatives when the time comes, and without fail. As Zambians, we’re proud of the fact that our senior citizens don’t get put into residential care homes, as they often are in western countries. Indeed, this reality finds expression in the very Zambian proverb, “Ma, mpapa ame ndakakupapa” in Ila or “Mayo, mpapa naine nkakupapa” in Bemba. Both phrases translate to literally mean, “Mother, as you carry me now, so shall I carry you in the future.”
But while families and the community have been our welfare system since time immemorial, there is need to look afresh, through contemporary eyes, at the availability and quality of care that our senior citizens receive at the hands of relatives and volunteers today. Although we have strong community structures, I believe we can do better. This is a challenge, especially to Christians like myself. We need to rekindle the spirit of Christian compassion. The care given to our older people should be holistic and rooted in dignity, respect, and empathy.
For over 40 years, I’ve worked as a registered nurse in Zambia and the UK. Alongside my professional experience, I also have personal experience of caring for older people. In the village where I grew up, I had the privilege of seeing how people in the community interacted with their older relatives. Notwithstanding the odd negative stereotype, most interactions were positive and older relatives were respected and valued especially for their wisdom. They were the custodians of the cultural narratives and practices of our people.
I had this sort of relationship with my maternal grandmother who I lived with from about age 4. She was very caring and kind to me. She was my energetic hero, counsellor, defender, storyteller, and everything any small child could wish for in a grandmother. I used to feel sad when it was time for me to go back to my parents’ home for school.
Fast forward several decades and I saw her reach the ripe old age of 102 – frail, blind, and walking with a stoop assisted by a stick. She never stopped being my beloved grandmother then. My own children revelled in her company. And latterly, they also enjoyed the company of their two widowed grandmothers.
In my years of working as a nurse on the Copperbelt, I had little occasion for nursing the elderly, as the health facilities run by ZCCM (the former mining giant) catered for employees of the mines and their families, few of whom tended to be very old. Now living and working in the UK, I’ve been afforded the opportunity of interacting with the older population in a whole new way.
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Many of us are guilty of viewing older people as a wasting asset with no real benefit to society. Some will treat them with such contempt as to deny them any basic support and care which they might require in their now vulnerable state. Even jewellery or nice clothes may be denied because these things might be deemed inappropriate or improper for older people to have. This attitude dehumanises them.
Another practice I’ve observed is seeing older people sometimes being given younger children to look after. Perhaps it’s a sign of the denial that one’s mother or father is advanced in age, but the reality is that when old age hits, older people are past looking after others. And just as it is an African saying, “It takes a whole village to raise a child”, so it should be that it takes a whole village to care for the elderly. But for those who are fit and independent, the approach to support and care should be to promote as much independence as possible within the confines of a safe environment, and still being available for them when a helping hand is needed.
A real challenge for families is the financial pressure that many face when caring for older relatives, especially when medical fees are involved. That may cause some families to take a hands-off approach. On one occasion during my primary school years in Mumbwa, my father had to be nursed in a specialist health facility on the Copperbelt. To meet the related costs, like travel, food, and the upkeep of family members that were supporting him there, we had to sell a cow.
Today, the younger members of our families are feeling these pressures too. On top of that, they’re leading increasingly busy professional and social lives, arising from opportunities afforded by rapid globalisation and digitisation. Such developments may herald a paradigm shift in how we navigate the issue of care of the elderly in our families and country.
We should then all be part of any conversation that seeks to address the needs of older people in a more structured manner. As part of that conversation, I believe that we should seriously consider the introduction of professionally-run residential care homes for the elderly in Zambia. I hear you say “that’s a foreign idea!” But culture is not set in stone. A quick look at our own culture will show that it’s a mix of many other cultures.
In addition, I would also like to see the protection of the elderly as a vulnerable group, enshrined in our laws, and that the care and treatment of the elderly in a private home or public institution meet certain standards by law. Non-compliance would inevitably attract penalties from the regulator.
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My generation of humble beginnings is sandwiched between the generations of our parents and our children. We have been providers and caregivers simultaneously. The world then was not as globally connected as it is now. Our children now are global citizens and they can live and work anywhere, physically or virtually, as we have seen during the pandemic. With all the best intentions in the world, our children’s generation may find it physically impossible to care for us in our old age. A friend described us as the potentially “neglected generation.” And many may not be able to live out the ideals of that proverb, “Mother, as you carry me now, so shall I carry you in the future.”
There is a notion that residential care homes are inhabited by people who have been abandoned by their relatives. That’s not always accurate. And regardless, the challenge before us remains – to care for our elderly holistically (with dignity, kindness, and empathy), and to change our mindsets and attitudes towards them.
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Absolutely beautiful and very insightful write up.
My Grandmother lived with me and my husband for 2 years in the UK before we were forced to move her into a home due to more complex care needs. She hated the thought of going and we hated the thought of putting her in a home. However, within a few days it was clear that she loved it! She thrived in the presence of attention, better care, social relationships, entertainment, etc. We realised we should have ended her lonely existence in our home sooner (we were working so she was alone a lot). Homes for the elderly are not bad places. But they do need to be monitored and regulated. Great piece of writing.